I am consistently inconsistent. That's beside the point. The point is, at last, am working on something that I enjoy most doing. Environmental Law. am working with Ambiga and Mr Raja on the drafting of Shoreline Management Bill. kinda cool I would say. You see, I would associate chambering with pregnancy. No liabilities just yet.

I am now feeling my way well into the final trimester, and you don't know as much as you think you do. Only at the end of the 9 months stint would you find yourself precipitated into the heavily loaded files that awaits. and you would have to stumble and crawl, just like any other babies would.

Judging by the company i keep, it really is hellish. An ungainly journey I should agree. The big Q is, whether one is ready or not. I shall conveniently pick the latter. Consistently inconsistent being.

Happy Birthday Puan Maisom Sulaiman. May Allah bless :)

BONE IDLE

That's just me. I should think that my life's akin a quilt. Different design of clothes patched together into one. Life's like that. Hence my being unresponsive to my wanting to update my blog, letting my unswerving laziness take charge. For that matter, here's my quilt for the past two months or so.

1. Hamster gave birth to five litters. And last two weeks, snowball gave birth to another one but got eaten two days after. Thus, left with five again. But, owing to my blatant negligence, one died. got crushed by their plastic aquarium. Guess they are as fragile as i am.

2. The fasting month saw two of my chambee mates leaving the office. Charmaine and Pit have always been great company to us all.

3. Raya was predictably fun. Kuching is and always will be my Home.

4. Annual dinner was equally fun. Bollywood dreams. After so many bloody years, I got to choreograph Indian dance moves (more malay-ish actually) with my oh-so-hebat comrade, Lydia.

As I was explaining my condition to the doctor, on how I vomitted couple of times, the doctor interpolated.

Doc: Pregnant kot.
Me: nope, can't be.

The dear doctor fell into oblivion and continued.

Doc: When did you get your last "you-know-what"?
Me: I can't be pregnant. tak kahwin lagi!

Then she flipped my medical record card. And walaa, status: kahwin.
And I accepted that with equanimity. If it wasn't for my viral fever.

i missed it. thankfully, there's a replay tomorrow at 6 pm. but am trying to manage my time for that. will be leaving for kLia to send a colleague, leaving for Newcastle. for good. Decision decision. It's after all, my call.



"Happy Birthday to my Dearest Mom."

How nice would it be if I can manage to dispense with all the dramas and drunken emotions of life. and live my life in One Tree Hill.

Bittersweet.

Last night, my Beloved and i figured out the monstrous truth about our hamsters, chippy & snowball. It so happened that chippy was all along a male, and we blindly thought that he was a 'she'. Now they're courting and chippy's basically a recalcitrant. Check this out, hamsters mate and gets pregnant for only 16 days. give birth and re-mate time and time again. There's going to be lotsa baby hamsters in too short a time. and i'll be floundering around. Well, I miss my little friends when I'm away from home. Come to think of it, it really isn't half bad to have their babies is it?

In hindsight!

I wish I never did quit playing the piano. One's talent is of course, extendable but i quit even when my ability to play was nowhere near aptness. I can scarcely remember my teacher. A grouchy lady she was. But that doesn't alter the fact that she was a flawless performer and i conversely, was flawed. Not only was playing the piano tough, it never piqued my interest. Now, how I wish I could play the piano with amazing dexterity. Or at least, play 'happy birthday'! *sigh*

Larger than Life

Dear Steve,

You talk incessantly akin to a parrot, only that it's your least favourite animal. You sit astride on rescued crocodiles, only to find them snapping back at you. You live a life befitting a universal phenomenon, a renown naturalist without a doubt. In a flicker of a second, talk became talked and sit became sat. I was reduced to tears on my way home, only to have people staring at me. They must have figured that i just ended a tattered relationship, heartbroken as can be. But it's your passing that left me heartbroken, encircled with deepest grieve. You know, it doesn't take a genius to tell how much i ADORE you, i don't even know where to begin. I can't imagine the loss felt by Terri and your beloved Bindi & Bob, deeply distraught they must be. But there's one thing i am sure of, that you will be sorely missed by many. May God bless You & Your Darlings.

Convocation.. but not Graduation?





j




The pictures say it all. dear Melati, congratulations on being conferred the oh coveted gold award. or was it golden award, or gold medal..? something lah. Comprehensive excellence, not. Congrats Graduates '06.

Selamat Pengantin Baru to my dear cousin, Fazrina and Husband, Erwan.

It was a jolly occasion and joy, the hall was permeated with so much Love. Didi alias hosted, bob af2 sang, Nona tv3 came. "Don't use this as a benchmark" said my Dad to my Beloved. Stunned He was. One way to go is: "simple yet elegant" continued Dad. We exchanged smiles. Truthfully, i can't wait :)

rows and flows of angel hair
and ice cream castles in the air
and feather canyons everywhere
i've looked at clouds that way
but now they only block the sun
they rain and snow on everyone
so many things i would have done
clouds got in my way

i've looked at clouds from both sides now
from up and down, and still somehow
it's cloud illusions i recall
i really don't know clouds at all

moons and junes and ferris wheels
the dizzy dancing way that you feel
as every fairy tale comes real
i've looked at love that way
but now it's just another show
you leave 'em laughing when you go
and if you care, don't let them know
don't give yourself away

i've looked at love from both sides now
from give and take, and still somehow
it's love's illusions i recall
i really don't know love
really don't know love at all

tears and fears and feeling proud
to say "i love you" right out loud
dreams and schemes and circus crowds
i've looked at life that way

but now old friends they're acting strange
and they shake their heads
and they tell me that i've changed
well something's lost but something's gained
in living every day

Hayley Westenra is a good listen.

Friday 13th

It was a Friday, at least two years ago. All i can say is, there may be thousands of people surrounding us, but it takes only One to bring a smile on our face in moments of desolation. Conversely, it takes only One to impair our judgment with rage. This is what i'd like to call, true Love taking its course.

But, in paving our way to the lane of eternal bliss, there are bound to be thorns. Just step on it, and bleed if you may. The pain will definitely subside and go away. Ahmad Feisal, this much I Love You. May i not be the thorn for You!

Still in a periodic brain degeneration, I think it is as well that I reproduce another entry by my senior-cum-colleague, Hameedah.

I cant believe it.I was actually looking forward to go to work today. Not because i had a million dollar case to settle or because it was increment day, but it was the finals of Pictionary for the RDL games and our team was in it to win! Secret codes were being passed all day. Secret discussions were held illegally behind closed doors.
At the games, we started off a bit slow compared to Team D who had the advantage of HL and some partners who were so in it to win. But in the end we did it! We won and the results were soo close!!! I was barely breathing when the referees counted the results. Yeah! NOw we are leading and the other teams will just hafta catch up.
If only there were Games everyday. Sigh.

At this juncture, am having a blast at the firm. Everyone's remarkably pleasant. Never will you see people ingratiating themselves to the seniors, unlike the stupid politics world outside.

p/s: Our team captains. Mine is the one looking confusingly retarded with that mask of his. thanks to kelvin for splurging on ice creams for us today. the fridge does look delectably good with bucketloads of ice cream in it.

Flipper's Gone.

A tribute to my ludicrously silly buddy. Actually, am too lazy to write so I thought I might just as well reproduce an entry written by her :

"Words of Wisdom

I am now in DC. Arrived on Friday evening and fell asleep on a couch at the house of the dinner host while waiting for dinner. Sleep some more for about 16 hours on Saturday (3pm-12 am, 3am-9am). Might as well sleep now, since I can only blame it on the jetlag for a few initial days.

Woke up hungry in the middle of the night and re-heated some food. Switched on the TV, and saw that nip/tuck was showing, causing me to giggle uncontrollably. Remembered a silly conversation about a year ago with afriend. Was telling him that the only reason I watch Charmed is because the devil (who became a doctor in nip/tuck) is cute. His immediate question was," Which one (doctor)? Nip or Tuck?". Decided last night that it's Nip after all.

When I was queuing up at the registration desk behind fellow summer program-going people, I was reminded of miera's parting advice," Jangan buli orang putih!". Haha! (she was elaborating to Muna's earlier advice, "jangan buli orang"). My mom is no better, the last thing she said to be, rather exasperatedly, is, "Try to be a good girl".

Scanned the horizon, and didn't see any "hot Italians", as Farhana ordered for me to bring home. Hardly surprising, since the last time I went to South Africa, she asked me to bring home '2 slaves' as souvenir.

Yes, I'll try my best to live up to everyone's expectation. Which should not be that hard since the standard asked for is rather low. No one told me to study hard. Nearly everyone said, "Have fun". Which medah and skar found disturbing, making skar to make a long five minute reminder that in Harvard, as opposed to uia, people actually have to attend classes. An that I should do that too.

The best advice i received? Have to be Ein's. She told me," You have to stop being stupid".

Speaking of which, I trust she'll be having the time of her life in Harvard. Thank you for making my final year in uni enraptured with a Beautiful bleak. Many happy returns to you all the same.

It didn't surprise me to hear that last weekend, my dear friend mar has given birth to an adorable baby girl. But man was I heartily relieved. We were all shocked when the news of mar's wedding broke as she was akin to a baby herself. Whilst other girls' faces would irradiate with sparks upon listening to stories of cute boys, chances are, mar would dismiss them with an impassive glare.

So, no surprise that we were all surprised of the wedding news. Come the baby.. we call her siti! This adorable siti stood by us through two final exams. not bad at all! One quiet noon, you'd see mar chuckling to herself, all of a sudden. well that's siti tickling her mama's tummy. Now siti's out to see the world. And her cheeks are delightfully flushed, just like her mama's :) And no, I doubt that mar+mun would be naming her siti. Congrats Mardhiyyah and Mr Mar!

On thursday, just when I was busy looking busy, my friends at the firm surprised me with a yummy birthday cake.

As if all the surprise wasn't enough,nearing the end of my birthday, I was immensely shocked as I was presented with a Beautiful gift by my Beloved. It saw me mind-bended the whole night, a timeless beauty it sure is. The exact same watch that I so crave!

I can't thank U enough for such a precious gift. You are my Pride and Joy Dearest Feisal! and for that, I am truly thankful.

"I can't be the only one who thinks too much is being made of the World Cup and that too much money has been spent on it, especially for a country like Malaysia with no direct interest in the competition." [NSTP]

Exactly! It's a one way ticket to a madness situation. Driving people up the wall, one would go to the extent of taking a whole month leave, if not resigning from their job. I said this once on a different note and I'll say it again. Just sit back and relax, (or sleep) commiserating on the smart of temporary defeat of some people.

Kampung-ku

My brother just got back from Sibu. As reminded, he did bring me the green coloured liquid that I so wanted. Air pisang. It does not assuage one's thirst, but it did a great deal of quenching my missing its savoury sweetness.

The last time I went to Sibu was in 2000, the year my grandmother passed away. You see, my nenek's place is far from sumptuous. So plain and nearing dilapidation was her house that it would quiver every time the bus passes by. "Rumah kayu, atas sungai" is the perfect description of her house. No kidding, her house was built and firmly structured in the muddy Sungai Rajang. You can actually dismantle the wooden flooring and fish from the rooms, just as what my brother did some years back.

As much as it is shaky during the day and eerily illuminated at night, this is the place where my Mother grew up. And the place where my siblings and I enjoy being in during the school holidays. See, the grass is indeed greener in Sarawak!

Bear Necessity.

Notwithstanding its enormity, our mr. grizzly here definitely fits the bill for cuddliness and handsome-ness!

I simply ADORE animals. Whilst human can become inhumane, treating these animals contemptuously, animals can never become in-animal.

Animal cruelty is on the up and news of such fiendish acts would evaporate into thin air after a moment of hoo-haa. We forget easily. But it's these creatures that suffer, rendering it a necessity to bear with us human.

An excerpt from today's NST. It simply takes my breath, yes literally, away!
The president of the Malaysian Linguistic Association (Malas), Ambi Mohan wants the final Harry Potter book, which is yet to be released, banned. Check this out:

As a patriotic Malaysian, it is my duty to speak up," he says. "My sister Anadil, who attended a charity dinner hosted by an anti-drug foundation, told me that pot is slang for marijuana.

Therefore I suspect that Harry's surname of Potter indicates that he is a drug addict. Potter means he specialises in pot, just as a fighter is someone who fights.

Ambi confirms that he has no solid evidence to back this claim "but the data that we have is highly persuasive. Only a drug addict would imagine he is a wizard who can fly and disappear and perform magical tricks. "

There is no need to give this silly issue a think. Some people ho. *sigh*

A Tribute

Thanks to our capricious weather, it has been pouring profusely for the past few days. Unrelenting, boisterous wind obtruded, whistling its way through my window. Yet again, I would be reminded of one particular person whose state of desolation has always been a cause for concern.

He is no other than the abang mangga, whose friendliness is hard to discern but really, it is understandable. He sells mangoes under his austere giant payung in which, from my place, its distance is nothing. There he would be seen sitting during the day, waiting on patiently for potential buyers to pull over and buy his mangoes. There he would still be sitting at night, his stall illuminated by a sole dim light bulb. Rarely would he capitulate to the fierce weather, come rain or scorching heat.

Thus I am thankful, though most of the time I too am alone here, for this atmosphere of domesticity I am in. Oh, and he sells the sweetest and freshest mangoes one can ever get!

And of course, the five years journey would certainly be unbearable if it was not for Him!

End of the road?

No, it is time to rise ourselves to our full height. In our world of black & white, to err is human, thus no fault is irremediable.

Law 20 inhabitants, may the One Above be with us all in our future endeavours. Amin.

"When all you got to keep is strong, Move along, move along like I know you do. And even when your hope is gone, Move along, move along just to make it through."

" At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies. "

Told you Sir P.G Wodehouse's a Genius!

A brimful day.

Owing to the rarity of my stepping out of this house, today's experience was rather quaint. In the morning, I accompanied my two friends, Ayu and Adila to attend a funeral of a second cousin of theirs who passed on due to a debilitating disease. It was undubitably a bleak morning, and it saddened me to know that the deceased's only child is barely two years old. The latter did not have an inkling of whatever that was going on, incessantly munching his crakers, falling into oblivion as any child would. It has been six years since I last attended a funeral so it did a good deal of reminding me to cherish everyone near and dear to us always, for the the grim reaper would not be seen knocking on our doors before returning our souls to the One above. Al-Fatihah.

Come afternoon, after leaving the arwah's house, we got into a desultory conversation, 'nak pegi mane?'. It might seem inconceivable to wander elsewhere after attending a funeral. But wander elsewhere we did, and our feet brought us to the National Museum. The majestic building loomed up before us as we ascended the stairs. I was psyched as it was a second visit for me, the first was way in 1986, when I too as a child would have obviously fallen into oblivion then. It was ok, so-so, nothing new to tell. Except for the derisive fact that almost all the baju kurung-wearing mannequins' faces were covered up with pantyhoses. Is it somewhat of a custom in our malay culture? I think not. Incidentally, Datuk Seri Rais Yatim should be able to enlighten us on the acceptable apparel for us all.

Lastly, we headed to KLCC to exchange our local currency with that of Japan's. Again, never would I thought I would be bothered to be engrossed with the fast altering 'buys' of the currencies displayed on the board. Not until today that is. We rushed to the first counter to deal with the broker-like lady. no luck. Rushing to the other end of the mall, we managed to secure quite a good deal with the broker-like man. Exhausted, we agreed to head home. See, today was indeed brimful. Owing to the fluidity of human behaviour, it is possible for one to be caught up with fast-changing emotions, and as it would be, it has for me. If you are wondering, why RM to Yen, rest assured, I am not leaving Malaysia for Japan. My friend Adila is, to meet her husband. joy! :)

Of my FAV book

Flippertygibbet - A noun. One who is unreservedly reticent, hence resilient. whose facade would suggest nothing but pure boredom. Whose mind and thoughts wander aimlessly in the midst of everyday life affairs. One who has one too many inglorious moments in life, and still counting. One who laughs, howls like a hyena rather, in the middle of the night (say, 4am) at the thought of a harmless frog scalded by a cigarette butt. Or by the mere recollection of such statement, " go and get your hair cut, you look like a chrysanthemum!".

One who conjures up ideas to justify their own laziness, without even realizing that the time is nearing 5am. One who would take more than 5 minutes to wish the other goodnight, simply wanting to sound smart, by blurting 'goodnight' in do-it-yourself french, chinese, japanese. and howls again.

One who would wake up and smile as classes had to be given a miss due to sleepiness. One who would make do with nothing for lunch at lunch hour but would skip classes to eat lunch.

But most of all, one who finds solace in reading the silliness of Wodehouse, whose eccentricity is timeless, the founder of the aforementioned noun, thus inspiring the former. Lo and behold!

A Love Story.

For it is not my forte to compose Love stories, here is something I would like to share with everyone, written by a Love story Connoisseur!

The other day I had the "ride of my life". Sounds like a nice title for a B grade horror flick is it not? It was never close to a horrifying experience but it was certainly a splendid moment! I would not want to bore you with the details of the event. The following were just bits and pieces of the things I remember so vividly. In short, that evening I had a nice "quiet" drive with my "dearest". Before that, almost all afternoon we just sat down and talk about things that we wanted to talk about. She waited for me to finish my laksa at lunch while we talk about anything and everything that crossed our minds.

Never had I experienced a more pleasant chat with anyone in my life, than this one. It was not like we never chatted before. Some years back when we just knew each other, we always approached each other's table at the library to have a chat (although she would always say that it was me who was a nuisance interrupting her while studying). But I am pretty sure that we can never deny that we enjoy each other's company. And of course like always, silly jokes were exchanged and we would end up laughing, smiling and leaving each other with blushes on our cheeks.

Then she simply got tired sitting at the lunch table, probably because they were lots os people around. I think a guy sitting at the other table overheard our conversation. No, it was not those kind of mushy stuff that lovers talk about..But something to a lesser degree I suppose. At times we talked our hearts out, sometimes jokingly, and most of the time at the top of our voices! How 'romantic'! Ceh!

So she proposed that I take her out of the campus for a ride. There was nowhere in particular she wished to go to. She described herself as a "homey" type of person and would rather stay indoors if given the choice. So it would make sense if she says that she wanted to go out but stay indoors, as in just sitting in the car for a ride around town. I did just that. That evening, I drove her around KL: the Garden City of Lights, pretending to be a tourist guide for this lost cute tourist.

This cute tourist happens to love ice-creams. So I decided to pull over at a petrol station that has a McD. She wanted to have a cup of McFlurry. But as I parked the car, there was a familiar tune on the radio. You guessed it right, "She will be loved". Just imagine how she blushed! Almost a confused lass, she suddenly changed her mind and wanted to have her McFlurry as a 'take-away'. Preferring to stay indoors, remember? Luckily the McD was a drive-through.
While enjoying our cups of ice-cream in the car silly jokes like this would eventually pop up:
'Nak pergi mana?'
'Tak kisah lah, jalan-jalan je. Tak nak balik UIA lagi'
'Pergi tengok lampu kat KL nak tak?'
'Tak kisah la..lagi jauh lagi I suka. I suka duduk dalam kereta. Pergi la Kelantan ke..'
'Jangan...Minyak kereta full tank ni. Nanti bukan pergi Kelantan je, I bawak u pergi Narrathiwat, kahwin kat sana nanti baru tau! Kira i tengah culik u la ni'
'Boleh'

Boleh? What kind of respond is that?! She caught me off guard, and she rarely able to do so. In the car, the chat resumed and I found her as a girl with many surprises. When you think that you know a person after all these years but actually you don't. As we talk about life in general, it was a shock to me that we have so many things we commonly agree upon. But we try as much to get the conversation in the light of our situation and personally I think we are very comfortable with each other. Very.

But I cannot say that I am swept by the tides of love. It has not reached that stage yet. As my "dearest" rightly puts it:
'We are more than friends, tapi tak sampai tahap tu lagi'.

And so it is. Although this lovely piece was written some two years back, it captivates my heart still, invariably. And so in Love We are, high as a kite, drunk as a skunk! If U are reading this Dearly Beloved Ahmad Feisal, thank U ever so much for being mine. Bestest of Friends, Soulmate and Partner :)

'Beehive' or beware.

'Beehive' or Beware.

The plain utterance of its title would undoubtedly be met with a dismissing disdain by the claiming adults (tsk tsk). Nevertheless, this is a story which promises an excellent moral lesson to everyone, especially to those little rascals out there.

No, this is not another derisory Hollywood movie. When I first watched it, the colourful tale got me enchanted before long. And so enthralling it was that it saw me ensconsed on the sofa every now and then, converting the usually inattentive me into a somewhat attentive little girl.

It all started with an empty chair, left empty by the wife of a recently widowed Mr. Brown, a beleaguered father of seven unruly, extremely ill-behaved, yet adorable children. All the former ever needed was a nanny to tame his childrens' wild antiques, but it took him 17 easily terrified nannies before a government nanny ( a moralist rather) was sent from Above. Yes, literally speaking.

So what if she was slightly disfigured? This quite unfortunate looking nanny did magical wonders to reacquaint Mr. Brown with the joyful task of being a father and a husband. A quick bang by the rather crooked stick of hers would mend every unimaginable mishaps, a result of the childrens' misdemeanour, turning them into abidingly polite children. Of course it was not a joyride for the nanny nor the children, but the former remained unabated. All it takes was a bang by her magical stick to do wonders remember?

Now, how I wish she could do the same, bang her stick to tame the equally misbehaved MPs of ours! ;)

Life's greatest Lesson.

"Without a doubt, Everything in this world, every little experience which we undergo or even merely read about, is intended to teach us something, to equip us for the battle of life".

Now that's Philosophy, read in Greek as the love of wisdom.

Feel free to disagree.